youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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