If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
