I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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