tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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