She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Randomize
