you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
