I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
