Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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