Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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