I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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