All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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