two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
No I am not eating basil off your cock
then he tried to convert me to islam
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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