I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize