I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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