so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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