Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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