okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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