I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
my being single is dangerous.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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