it was like his penis was on wheels.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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