I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
