If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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