some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm just crazy horny about you
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
how does that bad decision feel?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
