I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
