Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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