I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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