'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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