I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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