I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize