I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
