Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
