The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
