Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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