And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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