i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I still have a little drunk in my system
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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