I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize