I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
