shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here