Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
