Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(951): View more from California

my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today

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(951): my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today http://tfl.nu/mtcw

Replies (11) Good night (774) Bad night (1236)
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(618): View more from Illinois

here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...

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(618): here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco... http://tfl.nu/ll6l

Replies (37) Good night (3689) Bad night (978)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b

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(215): i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b http://tfl.nu/ogbj

Replies (47) Good night (2344) Bad night (6370)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.

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(413): He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing. http://tfl.nu/up8v

Replies (8) Good night (1279) Bad night (4276)
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(916): View more from California

Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.

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(916): Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown. http://tfl.nu/0cdq

Replies (5) Good night (3430) Bad night (1208)
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(510): View more from California

You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink

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(510): You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink http://tfl.nu/uf46

Replies (3) Good night (2874) Bad night (829)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.

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(412): You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it. http://tfl.nu/867s

Replies (3) Good night (1750) Bad night (802)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.

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(204): I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk. http://tfl.nu/i2hd

Replies (1) Good night (1050) Bad night (512)
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(561): View more from Florida

We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.

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(561): We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave. http://tfl.nu/7zum

Replies (9) Good night (1548) Bad night (491)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?

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(250): He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me? http://tfl.nu/sqfj

Replies (3) Good night (947) Bad night (409)
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(785): View more from Kansas

My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real

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(785): My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real http://tfl.nu/x4mj

Replies (3) Good night (2196) Bad night (365)
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(925): View more from California

You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there

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(925): You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there http://tfl.nu/g2al

Replies (3) Good night (890) Bad night (360)
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(760): View more from California

I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.

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(760): I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally. http://tfl.nu/7t3l

Replies (6) Good night (502) Bad night (286)
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(503): View more from Oregon

But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"

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(503): But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!" http://tfl.nu/pacv

Replies (0) Good night (833) Bad night (239)
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(812): View more from Indiana

I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.

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(812): I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature. http://tfl.nu/jyq9

Replies (0) Good night (464) Bad night (152)

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