Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.

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(203): I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt. http://tfl.nu/mij5

Replies (9) Good night (862) Bad night (1100)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.

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(919): I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment. http://tfl.nu/zj28

Replies (25) Good night (3206) Bad night (1011)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect

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(317): I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect http://tfl.nu/eleg

Replies (13) Good night (1157) Bad night (2395)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

he said i ruined lesbian porn for him

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(+44): he said i ruined lesbian porn for him http://tfl.nu/xboc

Replies (12) Good night (1004) Bad night (3967)
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(404): View more from Georgia

considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.

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(404): considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out. http://tfl.nu/gm4o

Replies (14) Good night (1419) Bad night (3284)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore

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(440): Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore http://tfl.nu/9n7j

Replies (5) Good night (2327) Bad night (784)
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(616): View more from Michigan

But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives

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(616): But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives http://tfl.nu/2jnq

Replies (7) Good night (1966) Bad night (1417)
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(360): View more from Washington

There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.

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(360): There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it. http://tfl.nu/jy69

Replies (21) Good night (2250) Bad night (642)
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(760): View more from California

I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.

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(760): I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional. http://tfl.nu/8oha

Replies (1) Good night (840) Bad night (522)
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(314): View more from Missouri

The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.

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(314): The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder. http://tfl.nu/bkbj

Replies (11) Good night (2268) Bad night (669)
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(406): View more from Montana

Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.

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(406): Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun. http://tfl.nu/sore

Replies (1) Good night (886) Bad night (783)
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(775): View more from Nevada

I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....

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(775): I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets.... http://tfl.nu/2q79

Replies (12) Good night (980) Bad night (455)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.

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(479): The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man. http://tfl.nu/vong

Replies (7) Good night (984) Bad night (608)
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(319): View more from Iowa

She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad

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(319): She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad http://tfl.nu/w994

Replies (1) Good night (561) Bad night (318)
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(706): View more from Georgia

When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I just vodka nap now...

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(706): When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between (267): I just vodka nap now... http://tfl.nu/97w6

Replies (1) Good night (631) Bad night (363)

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