I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad