hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals