The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
