yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.