You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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