Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
They have beer where we have blood.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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