So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
