I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
