so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
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I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
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My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands