i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
