I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.