Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
