no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
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you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding