dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing