my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
its like you know when i get waxed