Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Randomize
