are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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