I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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