Me. At least after what I've been through.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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