OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
