I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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