Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
