wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
