Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
