How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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