how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
