Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
