I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
