walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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