She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
