My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize