laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
