this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize