I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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