im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
